Shock of the News – Sept. 19, 2009
19
Sep/090
Sep/090
SPECIAL ALL EUROPEAN NEWS MOSTLY PRINT EDITION OF SHOCK OF THE NEWS!!!
Beginning in England where…
- A theatrical version of The Shawshank Redemption is being put on at London’s West End. The play features a rather graphic scene of prison rape in the South End.
- A theme park in England has begun offering speed dating on a roller coaster. It is one of the only times women are encouraged to test the lap bar before the date begins. Park officials say if the date goes well the couple moves on to the log ride.
- A group of British scientists plan to scan Mt. Rushmore with lasers. The scientists say this will create an exact digital model of the monument and it should eliminate Teddy Roosevelt’s need for eyeglasses.
And in Italy…
- Antique lovers will gather next week for one of the world’s largest antique fairs held in the city of Florence. This will mark the first time any Antique Lover has ever been spotted inside anything called Florence.
And finally in Germany…
- A recent poll shows one in seven Germans want the Berlin Wall back. When questioned further those Germans admitted they only wanted it back as part of an elaborate ploy to get Hasselhoff to sing on top of it again.
I’ve been looking for freedom!
Robot Chicken Sketch
4
Sep/091
Sep/091
A few months back I wrote some sketches with Robot Chicken in mind. This is my favorite of the bunch. It’s meant as a runner, which means it would be broken into segments and shown throughout the episode instead of all at once.
OTHER TRON DOMAINS
INT. ENCOM COMPUTER ROOM
Flynn exits the data terminal after besting Sark and the MCP.
COMPUTER VOICE
You have escaped Tron's game grid
for now, user, but take heed, next
time you may not fare so well.
FLYNN
Phew! That was close.
Flynn spots a plate of prawns on a table.
FLYNN (CONT'D)
Oooh! Prawns!
He picks up a prawn and is digitized by a green beam from the
plate. He disappears into the plate.
INT. DOMAIN OF PRAWN
Flynn is surrounded by a prawn covered world. He is
approached by a prawn.
PRAWN
Welcome user to the aquatic domain
of prawn!
FLYNN
Seriously?
LATER.
INT. ENCOM COMPUTER ROOM
Flynn materializes next to the plate of prawns.
PRAWN (V.O.)
You have escaped Prawn's game grid
for now, user, but take heed, next
time you may not fare so well.
FLYNN
(grumbling to himself)
Sheesh! Stupid worlds inside of
things. Don't make no kind of sense...
Flynn spots a plate of flan.
FLYNN (CONT'D)
Oooh! Flan! Don't mind if I do.
He takes a bite of the flan and begins to be digitized.
FLYNN (CONT'D)
Oh, come on!
Flynn disappears into the flan. A voice is heard from the
flan.
FLAN (V.O.)
Bienvenidos user to the delicious
Mexican realm of Flan!
FLYNN (V.O.)
Damn it.
OUT.
Technically, I probably should have written a third and maybe even a fourth segment. Possible ideas: The spiritual domain of Kahlil Gibran, The leafy domain of Frond, The icy domain of Kwan (Michelle), etc.
Canada Day!
1
Jul/090
Jul/090
Today is Canada Day! This is the day Canadians celebrate their Canadianess, presumably by eating ham covered pizza and watching hockey.
Canada has given so much to the world of comedy, so let’s take a second and recognize a few of the greatest contributions to humor from our neighbors to the North.
- Will Arnett and Michael Cera
- SCTV
- Kids in the Hall
- Mike Myers and Phil Hartman
- Norm MacDonald
- Leslie Nielsen
- Harland Williams
- Tim Long writer for The Simpsons, Spy Magazine, Politically Incorrect, and David Letterman. Not a funny video, but very informative.
- David Steinberg